When I was 6 years old I thought that becoming older was the only way I would get more chocolates to eat. Now that I’m 20, I wish I didn’t have to remind myself to eat fewer chocolates for my own sake.

At 8 years old I thought boys were better than girls because they always let me play football or cricket with them and were always up for an adventure but at 20 I think I like my girlfriends more after letting a guy or two break my heart. At 10 years old I wished with all my heart to become an astronaut.

At 20 years old I still wish with all my heart to be an astronaut but I can’t because I don’t have 6/6 (perfect) vision. At 13 years old, I thought everyone only wanted good for everyone else but at 20 I’ve been a bit more selfish than I would like to confess. At 15 years old I thought I wouldn’t stop till I achieved whatever I wished for, but at 20 reality seems to have broken me.

Yes, I hear y’all. I still have a life ahead of me, I know. The only thing that didn’t change was how everything changed. And it all happened without me even hoping that it would turn out this way. “Playing 2 hours every day on the ground” changed to “Studying for 2 hours every day”, “I don’t like Spinach” changed to “Omg, I love it!” “Don’t fight with your sister for no reason” changed to “Stop talking late at night and sleep!” “I’m just a big nerd” changed to “Yay, I’m a big nerd!”

So, my life is like a train; new people join at various stations; new experiences also come along at various stop points. I let go of some people later on. I can never relive the experiences, but I can only remember them distinctly. Life picks up speed and slows down. It also becomes a blur, too hazy for me to follow. Sometimes the engine breaks down and life becomes stale for a couple of days, even months, perhaps. Sometimes I also derail, which is fun until I realize how far I’ve derailed from my original route.

Today, I want to Stop This Train. Only for a while.

Featured image credits: u/JayPeeee: View original picture_